As I prepare to celebrate my birthday this weekend, I sit and reflect on the many things I’ve experienced and learned. Life has thrown me so many curve balls. Some I saw coming and prepared for as best as possible, some I saw coming but didn’t prepare for very well, and some that came so hard and blindsiding that it took forever and a day to recover. But the thing is- I did recover. Every single time, I recovered. I bounced back. And in that bounce back I’ve learned lots about the world, people, and most importantly, myself.I’ll share just a few with you now.
Life Goes On
When things we consider devastating occur, it can knock the wind out of us. We don’t know how we’re going to cope and move on with any type of normalcy. It could be major or minor. It could be the loss of an item, a relationship, rejection, or the loss of a loved one. It can feel so crippling at the time that you don’t know how you’ll go on, but if you keep living you’ll learn that life does indeed go on.
The Hurt Subsides
And while life continues to go on, the hurt caused can and does subside. It may take time and you’ll learn that the emotional scars sometimes take longer to heal than the physical scars. It may take therapy and lots of it, but you can get through whatever it is if you put your mind to and do the work required.
Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Situatation
While you’re going through the curveballs life sometimes sends, I’ve learned that things can and do change simply by the way I think about and respond to it. I try extremely hard to apply the teachings of The Secret to my life and it has taught me how to be grateful for all things and to find the positive and lessons learned through all situations. It can seem difficult at first, but the more you practice it, the more it will become like second nature.
You Can Only Control Your Actions
People will make you upset, you won’t always agree with your family, friends, significant others, or coworkers. You will get into disagreements about many things, but it’s important to remember that you only have the ability to control your actions. You can’t make anybody do or feel something. You can’t control how they perceive what you do and say. You can only control your actions and response. You don’t have to participate in certain situations if you don’t want to. The choice is yours and you’ll go crazy trying to make choices for others.
Forgive Yourself, Forgive Others
It may seem difficult, but forgiveness is the key to healing any hurt. Forgiving yourself will allow you peace and give you permission to move on. Accept that you will make mistakes and sometimes disappoint yourself and others. Forgiving yourself is the first step in healing and improving. Forgiving others is equally important, especially forgiving someone who isn’t sorry. That can be tough. But, that’s because too many people equate forgiveness with acceptance. Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to accept their actions, you don’t have to continue allowing them in your space. Forgiveness is for you and you alone.
Do What Makes You Happy
Life is too short to settle for things and people that don’t make you happy. There are too many people walking around doing things to please others. They’re trying to live up to other people’s expectations for their lives, and on the inside, they’re completely miserable. We see it everyday via social media. People are continuously looking for validation. It can be tough, especially as you grow and find yourself, but the sooner you learn to do the things that make you happy, without causing harm to others, you’ll feel a weight lifted and you’ll truly begin to live.