No, You Don’t Have To

Have you ever talked to an adult, a grown person, and hear them talk about the things they “have” to do. Not, have to do as is in be to work on time, pay bills, take care of their children-although these are all a choice, too-they are what most people think of when they think of things that “have” to get done.


I’m talking about the people who for whatever reason have got it in their minds that they have to do certain things because people have asked or told them they have to.

They’ll say I have to go to this event this weekend, I have to do this favor, I have to accommodate everyone else’s needs. In the very next breath, they’ll complain about this thing they just “have” to do.

I’ve noticed that this mostly come from women. Interesting, don’t you think?

Why have some women (not all, because if you know me I don’t subscribe to being told what I have to do or doing things that make me miserable) have it ingrained in them that they have to do for and be there for everyone else at the expense of their happiness? Is it a learned trait? Something they’re born with?

As women, we have this thing is us to make sure everyone around us is good, but where do we draw the line? Is it okay to decline an invite? Is it okay to say no, not today? Is it okay to say I don’t feel like it or just don’t want to do it?

By all means decline invites, offers, and suggestions that don’t mesh well with your spirit, intuition, and overall don’t feel likeness for that day (I just made that phrase up.) What’s the point of overextending yourself to make everyone else comfortable if you’re just going to complain about it?

Do you like the drama of it all? Do you get something from the whoa is me I have to do everything, I volunteer for everything if I don’t do it nobody else will attitude and then complain about it the entire time? That’s just unnecessary noise and drama and you should probably just stop it all together. Stop the drama, complaining, and overextending yourself-you don’t have to!

For the folks that do it from a genuine place, but feel themselves burnt out, overworked, and underappreciated-you deserve to feel happy to do what you want. You don’t have to return every call, extend yourself for every favor, and make yourself unhappy-you don’t have to.
Just repeat those words when someone calls you, text you, tries to persuade you or guilt you into doing something you’re not up to doing-you don’t have to!

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